Brigitte Lahaie
Nude

In a field full of Eurobabes, Brigitte Lahaie is a true icon of foreign sexploitiation. While we think of the French as the ultimate free spirited libertines, they actually had hardcore pornography banned until 1976. When that ban was lifted (maybe they realized Brigitte was willing and bailed on the idea), Brigitte dove head first onto some guy’s head, and soon dominated the dirty movie industry. When it was clear she was too pretty, too talented and too hypnotically captivating to be stuck in the hardcore world forever, Jean Rollin cast her in his horror flick Grapes of Death (1978). But don’t worry, she shows off her gorgeous melons–and ravishing rubyfruit while stripping out of a white dress. In Six Swedes on Campus (1979) Brigitte even opens up her down under, giving us a peek at the pink in the kind of higher learning we’d happily pay Sally Mae for. Brigitte’s also totally uninhibited during her simulated sex scenes in Fascination (1979), a French horror movie about a thief hiding in a chateau with a couple of bisexual beauties. It’s too good to be true, of course, and they end up trying to murder him and drink his blood, but that doesn’t do anything to diminish Brigitte’s work. She is frequently filmed wandering the house naked and at one point, wearing an open black robe while attacking people with a scythe. Not to be a creeper, but it’s not chess we’d like to play with that reaper! There’s plenty of humping and pumping in Swedish Gas Pump Girls (1980), which explains why the electric car took so long to catch on. Is that service what you get when you select “premium?” Her and a couple other classically beautiful blonde Swedes escape from a prison sans clothes in Gefangene Frauen (1980). She tastes another female while nude in Paul Raymond’s Erotica (1981), but really goes to town with the ladies, with the Swedes satisfying each other’s needs in The Escapees (1981). There’s a very nice scene where a woman gently fondles Brigitte’s breasts, and a very weird scene where a woman stabs her with scissors after an unwanted advance. Noo, that’s not what we meant by scissoring! With Brigitte, there’s not much she hasn’t done on screen. You want to see a topless brunette straddle her in cowgirl, and oil Brigitte’s big tits? Or maybe you want to see her get eaten out on a train? Check out Joy et Joan (1985). Prefer a striptease? Then you want Le diable rose (1987). Want to watch some posh upper class people watch her have sex with a flapper girl? Damn your fetish is specific, but don’t worry, that’s in Henry & June (1990). Brigitte’s last bit of nudity was a tad disappointing: it’s just a topless Polaroid photo in Calvaire (2004). From Calvaire to cavalry, these days Brigitte mostly does radio work and writes books about the state of sex and sexuality in the world today, while also commentating various equestrian events. We’d love to see her go back to riding, well, not horses, but given her incredible run of movie sex scenes, we can’t complain. Lock the doors, close the curtains, and say “hey” to the unreal sexiness of Brigitte Lahaie!